you have to choose: penises or morals?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
