I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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