Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
