I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
