I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
