I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize