so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
vagina is talking i cant
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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