why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize