Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
