so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize