First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize