i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
