think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize