Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
