it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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