Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
