I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
