Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize