well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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