...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
