I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
