I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
