he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
