Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
