I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
