You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
