I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
