hotel room ftw
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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