holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
True college students do jello shots in the library
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