At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Your dad touched me again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
