grandma shit on top of the toilet
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
