worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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