So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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