Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
