i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
