i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize