When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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