Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
