i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is my gift to your gina
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
