Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize