If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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