Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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