3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
someone threw a dead crab at me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize