forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize