you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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