I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
