just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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