Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
