the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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