So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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