he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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