i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
