last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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