why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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