Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
