she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
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