areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize