evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
