I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
