People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize