He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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