Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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