the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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