how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just had sex bonerless
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
