Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize