no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize