hotel room ftw
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
