Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize