def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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