i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Two words: blizzard sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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